Reflecting on Motherhood
With Mother's Day just around the corner I have been thinking about the significance of motherhood. I am lucky to have a daughter that keeps me on my toes and fills my days with laughter. I also know the pain, sadness and grief that comes with pregnancy/infant loss. With that being said, Mother's day brings up mixed emotions for me each year! This year my thoughts of motherhood are brought to you by a conversation I had with my daughter a few weeks ago.
On our way to day care my 5 year old randomly said: "Mommy, kids are not supposed to teach adults!"
I was curious by what she meant and asked her to elaborate on her thought process. She replied; "Adults are supposed to teach kids and it was silly that last night I had to teach you how to make a fortune teller!". I was intrigued by her statement, validated her point of view and wanted to empower her so I replied with: "Zoey - it doesn't matter how old you are, you are capable of teaching anyone something new, because your life experience has been different from that of who you interact with" She was confused (I may have used a concept too big for her to comprehend) so I followed up with: "Do you know who has taught me the most about being a mom (parent)?". She pondered for a minute and exuberantly announced "Rara" (that is what she calls her paternal grandmother). "No, it isn't Rara" I said and I could see her face starting to frown as I glanced in the rear view mirror. "It is YOU!" I added, "You have taught me most about being a mom." Her face filled with confusion and excitement. The rest of the way to school I explained all the ways she has helped shape me into the best parent I can be - for HER.
That has been my most profound discussion with her and it brought me so much clarity:
1. Everything I ever need to know about parenting her, can not be found in a blog, book, pediatrician's office, friends or family, She is my most valuable resource and provides the roadmap for success. (and if I were to have another kiddo, they would come with their own roadmap)
2. Each and every parent is doing their best at any given time, even though it might feel as if we are somehow failing at times.
3. We are not the directors of our child's life, we are just witnesses as they create the masterpiece of their own life.
4. Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for.
These principles will guide the rest of my parenthood years! Hopefully, we get to add more of to the list as we face new challenges as a parent-child team.
To all of you who are fortunate to mother, I salute you! I see your effort, dedication and commitment! To those of you who long to mother, I see you and stand with you on your journey to motherhood!
Happy Mother's Day!
Be Well,
Keyu